Rude People

What is about some people that make them think they are more important than you or better than you? I swear Utah has some of the rudest people I have ever been around. Especially in Draper. Everyday I am working I have the joy of being around rude people, and yes most of them are women. Here in Draper most of the women are trophy wives who stay home and take care of the kids and have lunch with their snooty friends. I think they all got a deal on Escalades and Tahoes too. Well I almost get run off the road daily by these monstrous SUV's because wherever these women need to be, it is pretty important that they speed there. Heaven forbid your 5 minutes late to your hair and nail appt or lunch with the other stepford wives. I also have the joy of being in public areas with them and their kids and it is super fun. The kids run around without supervision while the mom's are gossiping about this and that and talking about people right in front of their faces. I had the joy of hearing these 2 blonde bimbos refer to me as "biggie". Ok now I know I am not skinny by why the hell would you say something like that so that the person could here you. Well, had it have been another time of day and I was not in my Draper City shirt or on the clock, they would have got an earful from me. But instead I just had to gave them a dirty look and walked out. Those fake b&^$#es were ugly and I can guess that they were dumb as rocks, if it wasnt for their husbands money they would be trash. I mean really is it necessary to be that rude.
Well yesterday I had the joy of the Wal-Mart here on the east side and I wanted to smack someone by the time I left. First I pull into the parking lot and this blonde bimbo just walks out in front of me without even looking, like the world should stop for her. Then as I am pulling into this parking stall I almost got backed into by this little teeny bopper in her Mercedes, who was putting on her lip gloss as she was backing out so she didnt look. Then as I am walking in, a big boobed bimbo and her children proceed to run into me and she doesnt even say sorry. So I finally grab the wrapping paper that I stopped for and this stupid blonde tramp with her kids in her basket block the aisle. She looked right at me and kept on looking for her makeup and talking on her "like" cell phone. So I gladly move the basket of rug rats down the aisle and walk by. I hear her tell the person on the other end of the phone "this stupid b*&ch just moved my cart".
I think I need to move to a small town somewhere outside of Utah before I end up b*&ch slapping someone.

25 Things

My friend Anna (who i miss dearly), has asked that I post 25 things about me. Here ya go Anna-
1. I have a cute cat named Bennie
2. I donate regularly to the ASPCA, and I think everyone should
3. I love animals of all kinds
4. My love's name is Dan
5. I am house shopping right now
6. Favorite colors are black and red
7. Favorite food is Artichokes
8. Favorite drink is Ryan's Creme on ice
9. I love to gamble
10. I have 4 tattoos (and yes it only counts as one if it is big)
11. I am getting a new tattoo on the 24th
12. I work for Draper City as a code officer
13. My favorite jeans are Big Star
14. Favorite places to shop- The Buckle and American Eagle
15. I drive a red Honda Accord
16. I love to travel (most of the time)
17. Favorite shows- All Law and Orders, All CSI's, Desperate Housewives, Greys Anatomy, The Shield, Project Runway
18. Dream vacation spot would be Fiji
19. My hair is currently deep red and dark brown
20. I have always wanted to be a model
21. I wish I lived on a beach
22. I love spending time with friends and family
23. I love all of the CO Bigelow lip glosses from Bath and Body
24. I am currently trying to lose weight
25. I love orange sherbert

Wow thats harder than you think.

Retirement

Is it time for retirement yet???

Law and Order

Sometimes I feel like I am a star on Law and Order and I am being investigated by members of an elite detective squad know as the Special Investigation Unit, here is my story---- For some reason I always seem to date guys who think they have to investigate me. Why is your phone sitting right there, who is that calling, who are you texting, why are those underwear in the laundry basket, why are you wearing that, why were you 5 minutes late, why did you turn the light on during the night, why, why , why???????? I feel like I have committed a crime. And who notices that crap anyway?

Traveling or Hemroids

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Huh.

Why do men read so much into things? They say that we do it but really they should take a look at themselves for a minute. I hear all of the fights and what not that goes on in every relationship, and most of the time it is the man who is reading too much into the fight. For example we say- “I don’t want to talk right now” and they hear “I don’t want to be with you anymore”. We say “I don’t feel like putting out tonight” and they hear “Your not attracted to me anymore”. We say “I just need to spend time with the girls” and they hear “Your going out to meet someone else”. We say “I love you” and they hear “Great your putting out tonight”. I am so glad that I don’t have that translator in my ear. And do they sell a reverse translator? If they do we better be stocking up on those things in case the battery dies or it stops working.

On Strike

What would happen if all women went on strike? Not from work but from home....... Dan came out of the bedroom the other day with jeans on. I found this odd since he has not worn them all summer. I asked "why are you wearing jeans" and his reply was "are you on strike?". Now lets just think about this for a minute....on strike. I didnt know that I needed to be on strike from anything so I asked, "on strike from what?" he replied "from laundry, I dont have any clean shorts." So this got me thinking....you lived alone before we started dating and I am pretty sure that I saw you doing laundry while I was there once or twice, so are my washer and dryer really that high tech? So I went and got the clothes out of the laundry basket and as I was putting them in the washer I found myself checking out the dials on the washer. They looked pretty standard to me, but what the hell do I know. I asked him why he couldnt just do his own laundry if he needed something and he replied "its your job". Well I dont remember interviewing for this job but I have a good idea of what this "job" entails. So if I were to go on strike the following would happen- laundry would pile up for years, nobody would brush their teeth because I didnt go and buy toothpaste, the house would be a wreck, beds would be smelly and gross, a ring of man splash would remain on all the toilet seats, there would be no food in the house, dishes would never get done and the yard would probably grow 5 feet tall because I would also be on strike from nagging. So if someone ever asks if your on strike.....ask them if they still have teeth.

Houses

If some of you didnt know me and Dan have been looking for a new house. We have been looking for houses for my whole life it seems like. I am now getting to the point where I see a nice house and actually say out loud "f$%#ers". I think I have a serious problem but it hasnt been diagnosed yet. I mean why cant the average person have a nice house without having to make $300, 000 a year? Why cant I have that nice house that I have always wanted? It seems like everything we want is $50, 000 out of our price range. Well you know what I would like to do with those houses that are $50,000 out of my price range......just move into one without permission. I want to get all of my stuff in the house make it nice and homey and just live there for free until someone notices, and then and only then will I make payments on it. But not the payments that they want, the payments I want. I would like to say "well I have been living here for 6 months before you even noticed so apparently you dont actually need all of that money for the house". Lets face it, the stingy banks have no idea whats going on at the properties and dont really care. The homes have been sitting there for months and months costing the banks money, but heaven forbid that you should get a good deal on one. This is a big issue with me right now and it is causing me undo stress. Maybe I can sue the housing industry for cronic anxiety syndrome. Thats a disease right?

What are Men??

I find myself wondering from time to time, how would a man live without his guy parts??? I mean really if you think about it, the thought of sex consumes most of their lives. I think about 2% of a mans brain is for other information that doesnt pertain to sex. I find myself having to repeat things that I have said several times in the past, like please pick up after yourself, and sweetie maybe you could turn the light off when your done. But as soon as I mention sex, its like a light bulb comes on and you can actually see the mans brain working. You see bumps moving across the skull while all of the motors get up and running. And it isnt like they remember what you like and what you dont like in bed, they are just happy that they are running on all cylinders. So that brings me to believe that the mans body is just for getting around. Its like Elaine said on Seinfeld "a mans body is like a jeep, it is just for getting around". So the guy parts are just driving this massive Jeep around and they control where it goes and what it thinks. And what they dont understand is that women only want a Jeep fom time to time. We want a luxury car that cradles you, gives you a smooth ride, hugs all the curves and goes where you want it to go. So ladies if you want a luxury car you better save up enough to afford one.

Just "Be"

Sometimes girls just need to "Be"

Be Quiet

Be Alone

Be Ourselves

Be Happy

Be Sad

Just "Be".

Well I find this very hard to do when living with someone. Our partners are always there wanting attention and wanting you to "Be" something that you dont feel like being at the time. Like if we want to be quiet then we get the question of "Whats Wrong" or the comment "Your so ornery today". I mean what is that. Why does there always have to be talking and why do we always need to be in a good mood. I mean come on ladies, how many times have you wanted the man in your life to just "Be" quiet? You would think that us being quiet would be a good thing. I mean with all the nagging and stuff. I keep hoping someday that guys will understand the art of just "be"ing and we can live in harmony. When and if this will happen, who the heck knows. But remember next time your hear "What the f*&^ is wrong with you, just think to yourself "sometimes a girl just needs to "Be".