Update

Well it has been one week since my pole dancing escapade and I am finally regaining proper use of my arms in a way. I went to the gym last night and found as I was stretching that the muscles around my rib cages and in my arm pits are still sore. Well the stretching must have aggravated them because today I am having a hard time lifting my arms above my head again. :) Still contemplating going back :)

Pole Dancing

So Wednesday night I took part in a pole dancing class with a couple of girl friends. It was an interesting experience. It is a great workout and you can look like a sexy jack ass. When I left my arms were killing me from swinging my uncoordinated ass around the pole. Well yesterday morning as the alarm was going off, I went to reach for it and to my amazement had a very hard time moving my arms to grab it. So needless to say getting ready yesterday with Jello arms was a chore. The day went ok, except I didnt have any grip strength to do anything, and looked like an ass trying to put on my coat or carry anything. Last night I noticed that my arms were getting pretty stiff, so I did some stretches and went to bed. During the night I found myself waking up quite a few times wondering why I couldnt move my arms without being in pain. So I slept on my back most of the night and tried not to move them. So the alarm went off today and as I reached out for it I found that I couldnt straighten my arm all the way out to reach it. This is where I knew today was going to be great. :) I got out of bed and tried to stretch to find that my arms would not straighten unless I wanted to let out a yell, and I also found that my whole upper torso decided to join in the agony. Yes, my entire body from my waist to neck is sore. Now one would think that I would be excited that I got such a good workout, but the pain in my arms is making me think differently. I would like to rip them off and throw them at the damn pole!! It always seems that I have to have a few things going on at one time, so for some reason I have to sneeze alot today also. This in turn brings pain to my sore stomach and rib cage muscles and lets not forget raising my arm to cover my mouth. I also received several large bruises on the insides of my thighs and on my knees. (the knee is from my arms giving out swinging around the pole and falling to the ground) So I am going to have to think very hard about going back to this class, good upper body or misery. Hmmmm
I will tell you that I have a whole new respect for the ladies that do that everyday. It isnt as easy as it looks. :)

Winter....Not Awesome.

Well I made my 26 mile commute to work today in the first bad snow storm of the year. I have not missed the snow one bit. My street in my neighborhood got plowed, but the long stretch of freeway I take to come in was not plowed. This made for some white knuckle driving at about 25 miles per hour. My car is terrible in the snow. So now I have to decide, do I spent $5000 to buy a used SUV to get me back and forth in the winter, or do I spend $1000 to get snow tires and new rims for the car.......Hmmm. Just an FYI for all of you out there low profile or performance sized snow tires are twice the cost of regular tires. I can use the SUV in the summer for camping, where the tires will just be sitting in the garage. Guess I need to weigh the pros and cons. Good grief.

Updates

It has been a while since I have written, but I have been super busy. Things are going good living with my dad, and it has also given me an opportunity to do some fun things this Fall. I went to Boston and saw the changing leaves, which was amazing. I only wish I could go there more and see my friends that I love!! I also went skydiving again!! That was tons of fun. I always enjoy taking people for their first time and seeing how much fun they have. I have decided to get certified. Hopefully I will have the money to do it next year. Working 2 jobs is for the birds....but at least I enjoy both of them. No relationship to speak of......

Here are some pics from the trips. Hope you enjoy and I will blog again soon!!

Fall

I love this time of year!!! Cool days and nights. Smells crisp outside. Mornings are so beautiful and the sunrise and sunsets have more color. The leaves are changing. I get to go see them changing in New England and New York this year and I cant wait. Playing softball is much more fun when I am not swaeting like a fat man.

Not looking forward to winter, but Fall is great!!

The only thing I dont like...

Spending $50 on a freakin Halloween Costume!!

Back up in this..........

Well I am back at my dads and it isnt so bad. All my stuff is in storage, which totally sucks. If I ever need anything that is in there, I will just have to buy a new one. There is no way I will find anything in there let alone get the door open. :) Didnt get to put as many things in my room that I wanted to, I thought the room was bigger. Guess it just seemed that way when I had small furniture and I had neer lived anywhere else. I just have to keep thinking the money I will save will all be worth it. But I love my pops and we get along great, so I will stick it out a year or so. Now just need to decide if I should stay in Utah......Hmmmmm.........

Return for full refund….

Yesterday I was faced with shipping an item back that did not fit. When I ordered it, it said you can return for a full refund if not completely satisfied. Well I went to the UPS Store yesterday to ship it back and found that a pre-paid shipping label was not in the package. It is up to me to pay for the shipping and it has to be tracked. So I sent back a $46.00 item that I paid $8.00 to have shipped to me, paid $11.00 to ship it back, and I will only be re-imbursed for the price of the item. So total that I will be getting back after paying for both shipping charges $27.00. Wow, too bad I wasn’t completely satisfied.

Feeling My Age

I remember back in my early 20's I could party with my friends all night, dance and get rowdy and then get up and go to work or make something of my day the next day. Later 20's it got a little harder to wake up the day after going out and having fun. Now in my early 30's it takes days for me to feel normal again. I threw a bachelorette party for my sister this weekend, drinking, dancing, hangin out all night makes Kasie feel like she is 50. I have seriously pulled every muscle in body, acting like I am not white and can shake my booty with the best of them. I have even pulled the muscles in my armpits, I mean come on how do you do that? I slept for a good portion of the day yesterday, due to the fact that I stayed up past 2am. And to top my day of recovery off, I never left the house or accomplished anything. Good greif!! Man what I wouldnt give to be in my early 20's again.

Updates and Life

Life is weird...one minute you have everything and the next you feel so down. I know alot of people who are going through a rough time right now, including me, and it just isnt fair. Why do bad things happen to good people? I have always wondered that, but never as much as I do right now. I know we all have to keep our heads up and push through, but it is so hard sometimes.

I am getting ready to move back home for a while, and I am having mixed emotions about it. I know it will be a good thing, but it is so hard to go from a big house to a bedroom. But I know in the end it will be a positive thing. I just never thought I would be going home at the age of 32. Hmmm.
I got answers from the doc on my tumors and it was fairly good news. The tumor in the front is benin, and will only have to be removed if it starts causing problems with my teeth. The large tumor in my bone is a bone disease, which may get worse or it may get better, they will just monitor it.
I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago and man oh man I am having a hard time with that. How can 2 people love each other so much, but not get along? That question is killing me.

Hang in there all my good people, it will get better for us all I hope.

Doctors Notes

Well I got some good but bad news yesterday from my specialist.
There is a small tumor in the front of my jaw, but a very large one at the back of my jaw. The large one is inside the bone and is making the bone expand and it has expanded to about half the size my jaw should be on that side. So the large one could be one of two things, a tumor caused by an issue with my para-thyroid and if that’s the case they can fix the thyroid problem and remove both tumors. If not it is a bone disease which there is no cure for. It will cause the bone to keep growing and expanding, it may stop and may not, if not I will have to get the bone shaved every few years to keep my face from being deformed. Also, if it is the bone disease, they can’t biopsy anything to check for cancer or remove the small tumor because any prodding makes it grow faster. But the small tumor may grow on its own and push on nerves and if that happens they have no choice but to remove it, then cause the disease to grow faster. But the good news is…he doesn’t think it’s cancerous. I have to get some blood tests done to check my thyroid and to check for signs of the bone disease and then go back to him on the 7th. He will examine all of my old ex-rays from past dentists to see if he can tell how long it has been going on, and then he will let me know what my options are.
Geez. Life is so complicated sometimes.
On a lighter note...I have the hardest time listening to Doc's when they talk in medical terms, it sounds like the teacher ont he Peanuts cartoon. Wa wa wa waa wa wa..no cure for it. :)

Clarify

I am ok girls. Guess I should have clarified. They found a rather large tumor growing on my jaw bone. I dont know much more about it yet as I dont see a specialist til June 9th to get it biopsied. Its just a scary thing.

Good and Bad

Funny how cliche things can be sometimes. I got bad news last week that has made me stop and take a second look at life. The things that I regret and the things that I still want to do. The things that make me happy and the people that I have in my life. My friend Casey told me yesterday, "It's like the Tim McGraw song, live like you were dying". And he is right....what a cliche, but it is so true. Weird how you dont think about things like that until you have a reason to.

But not anymore for me. Life is short and I want to LIVE, really live. Do the things that I have always wanted to do, tell the people that I love how much they mean to me, and get past all of the bullshit without worrying about it everyday. I want a relationship that means something and to really feel love and passion from them. I have noticed that I really dwell on the negative in life, and I want to over come doing that. I dont want to be angry anymore. I want to be happy and positive and surround myself with things that will help me do that.

So to all of you.....Live like you were dying.

Poetry Thursday 10

Who is this person???

Who is this person inside my head
That makes me think of the things you said
Who is this person that makes me say the
things I thought I couldn’t
And makes me do the things I said I wouldn’t
Who is this person that makes me change
how I feel
That makes me think my emotions aren’t real
Who is this person that won’t let me forget
All of the things that I regret
Who is this person that won’t let me forget you
And all of the wonderful things that you do
Who is this person that makes me choose good
From bad
And makes me feel happy when I am sad
If this person can save me from all the things I
Want to do
Then why couldn’t they save you too

Fun Job

I went skydiving over the weekend, and it was so much fun. I love the feeling of falling and depending on something to save your life. :) But while we were there I was looking at the planes and the helicopters and it brought back what I really want to do with my life. I want to fly helicopters. I have wanted to do this since I was young and I am thinking that I better start learning and do something that I know I will love. But as with all things in life.....Money is holding me back. The cheapest school I can take here in Utah to get totally certified is $11,000. Are they insane!! Lets not forget the cost to buy a helicopter after I am done. Aagin, why does everything in life revolve around money. It is BS.

Swine Flu

I love how when there is an outbreak of some virus thats all people talk about. I am sitting here at work minding my own business and have heard at least 3 people say "hopefully you dont get the swine flu". Really.......

Poetry Thursday 10

You and Me…………….
You love her now I can see
But all I can think about is you and me
Does she make you feel like you want to feel
I wish I could show you that I love you still
All the tears I have cried
All the lies I have lied
Telling myself you loved me deep inside
All the nights laying there thinking of you
Hoping that you were thinking of me too
All those things are now in the past
Because you are with me at last
Now we are together like it should be
Together forever you and me

Poetry Thursday 9

Today

Today is the day that you died
Today is the day that everyone cried
Today is the day that it rained real hard
Today is the day I would have given you a
birthday card
Today is the day the sky seemed black
Today is the day I started looking back
Today is the day your mom will sit and
weep
Today is the day that nobody will sleep
Today is the day I will never forget
Today is the day all bad things I will
regret
Today is the day I wish it were me and
not you
Today is the day I say I love you

Cancer

It seems like the only word I have heard for months is Cancer. Why is that? I remember that I could go years without hearing that word and now it seems like it is part of my vocabulary. My friend passed away from breast cancer in August, my second dad passed away from it in February, my friends mom is battling it right now, other friends know people who are struggling with it and today my most favorite aunt is having a mastectomy and will start the battle. What is going on?

Move...yes....no

I have been pondering a drastic move and I am having a hard time with a decision. I really hate Utah and need a change of pace and scenery. But I am having the hardest time facing the reality that I will be leaving my friends and family and everything I have known my whole life. I am wondering how others got the strength to pick up and leave and not look back. I am hoping that there will just be a day that I wake up and say "ok lets do it" and feel like it is what is supposed to happen. I swear decisions become harder the older you get. I should have moved right out of high school like I planned. Son of a......

Poetry Thursday 8

Homeless and Hungry

You see them sitting in the naked cold
All alone with nothing to hold
People read their sign and just turn their head
Don’t even care about the last time they were fed
They can’t get a job because they don’t qualify
Nobody sheds a tear when they die
They lay on the ground with hearts full of pain
With only a newspaper between them and the rain
The shelters are full so they have nowhere to stay
On the streets is where they append their day
This is a problem that must be cured
It’s growing and growing and becoming absurd
Find it in your hearts to help make a change
And someone’s life you could rearrange