Winter.....UGH!!

Update

2009-12-16T08:03:00.001-08:00

Well it has been one week since my pole dancing escapade and I am finally regaining proper use of my arms in a way. I went to the gym last night and found as I was stretching that the muscles around my rib cages and in my arm pits are still sore. Well the stretching must have aggravated them because today I am having a hard time lifting my arms above my head again. :) Still contemplating going back :)

Pole Dancing

2009-12-11T10:13:00.000-08:00

So Wednesday night I took part in a pole dancing class with a couple of girl friends. It was an interesting experience. It is a great workout and you can look like a sexy jack ass. When I left my arms were killing me from swinging my uncoordinated ass around the pole. Well yesterday morning as the alarm was going off, I went to reach for it and to my amazement had a very hard time moving my arms to grab it. So needless to say getting ready yesterday with Jello arms was a chore. The day went ok, except I didnt have any grip strength to do anything, and looked like an ass trying to put on my coat or carry anything. Last night I noticed that my arms were getting pretty stiff, so I did some stretches and went to bed. During the night I found myself waking up quite a few times wondering why I couldnt move my arms without being in pain. So I slept on my back most of the night and tried not to move them. So the alarm went off today and as I reached out for it I found that I couldnt straighten my arm all the way out to reach it. This is where I knew today was going to be great. :) I got out of bed and tried to stretch to find that my arms would not straighten unless I wanted to let out a yell, and I also found that my whole upper torso decided to join in the agony. Yes, my entire body from my waist to neck is sore. Now one would think that I would be excited that I got such a good workout, but the pain in my arms is making me think differently. I would like to rip them off and throw them at the damn pole!! It always seems that I have to have a few things going on at one time, so for some reason I have to sneeze alot today also. This in turn brings pain to my sore stomach and rib cage muscles and lets not forget raising my arm to cover my mouth. I also received several large bruises on the insides of my thighs and on my knees. (the knee is from my arms giving out swinging around the pole and falling to the ground) So I am going to have to think very hard about going back to this class, good upper body or misery. Hmmmm
I will tell you that I have a whole new respect for the ladies that do that everyday. It isnt as easy as it looks. :)

Winter....Not Awesome.

2009-12-08T08:12:00.000-08:00

Well I made my 26 mile commute to work today in the first bad snow storm of the year. I have not missed the snow one bit. My street in my neighborhood got plowed, but the long stretch of freeway I take to come in was not plowed. This made for some white knuckle driving at about 25 miles per hour. My car is terrible in the snow. So now I have to decide, do I spent $5000 to buy a used SUV to get me back and forth in the winter, or do I spend $1000 to get snow tires and new rims for the car.......Hmmm. Just an FYI for all of you out there low profile or performance sized snow tires are twice the cost of regular tires. I can use the SUV in the summer for camping, where the tires will just be sitting in the garage. Guess I need to weigh the pros and cons. Good grief.

Updates

2009-11-13T07:09:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since I have written, but I have been super busy. Things are going good living with my dad, and it has also given me an opportunity to do some fun things this Fall. I went to Boston and saw the changing leaves, which was amazing. I only wish I could go there more and see my friends that I love!! I also went skydiving again!! That was tons of fun. I always enjoy taking people for their first time and seeing how much fun they have. I have decided to get certified. Hopefully I will have the money to do it next year. Working 2 jobs is for the birds....but at least I enjoy both of them. No relationship to speak of......

Here are some pics from the trips. Hope you enjoy and I will blog again soon!!

Fall

2009-09-22T19:34:00.000-07:00

I love this time of year!!! Cool days and nights. Smells crisp outside. Mornings are so beautiful and the sunrise and sunsets have more color. The leaves are changing. I get to go see them changing in New England and New York this year and I cant wait. Playing softball is much more fun when I am not swaeting like a fat man.

Not looking forward to winter, but Fall is great!!

The only thing I dont like...

Spending $50 on a freakin Halloween Costume!!

Back up in this..........

2009-09-22T19:29:00.000-07:00

Well I am back at my dads and it isnt so bad. All my stuff is in storage, which totally sucks. If I ever need anything that is in there, I will just have to buy a new one. There is no way I will find anything in there let alone get the door open. :) Didnt get to put as many things in my room that I wanted to, I thought the room was bigger. Guess it just seemed that way when I had small furniture and I had neer lived anywhere else. I just have to keep thinking the money I will save will all be worth it. But I love my pops and we get along great, so I will stick it out a year or so. Now just need to decide if I should stay in Utah......Hmmmmm.........

Return for full refund….

2009-08-13T14:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was faced with shipping an item back that did not fit. When I ordered it, it said you can return for a full refund if not completely satisfied. Well I went to the UPS Store yesterday to ship it back and found that a pre-paid shipping label was not in the package. It is up to me to pay for the shipping and it has to be tracked. So I sent back a $46.00 item that I paid $8.00 to have shipped to me, paid $11.00 to ship it back, and I will only be re-imbursed for the price of the item. So total that I will be getting back after paying for both shipping charges $27.00. Wow, too bad I wasn’t completely satisfied.

Feeling My Age

2009-08-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

I remember back in my early 20's I could party with my friends all night, dance and get rowdy and then get up and go to work or make something of my day the next day. Later 20's it got a little harder to wake up the day after going out and having fun. Now in my early 30's it takes days for me to feel normal again. I threw a bachelorette party for my sister this weekend, drinking, dancing, hangin out all night makes Kasie feel like she is 50. I have seriously pulled every muscle in body, acting like I am not white and can shake my booty with the best of them. I have even pulled the muscles in my armpits, I mean come on how do you do that? I slept for a good portion of the day yesterday, due to the fact that I stayed up past 2am. And to top my day of recovery off, I never left the house or accomplished anything. Good greif!! Man what I wouldnt give to be in my early 20's again.

Updates and Life

2009-07-15T07:37:00.000-07:00

Life is weird...one minute you have everything and the next you feel so down. I know alot of people who are going through a rough time right now, including me, and it just isnt fair. Why do bad things happen to good people? I have always wondered that, but never as much as I do right now. I know we all have to keep our heads up and push through, but it is so hard sometimes.

I am getting ready to move back home for a while, and I am having mixed emotions about it. I know it will be a good thing, but it is so hard to go from a big house to a bedroom. But I know in the end it will be a positive thing. I just never thought I would be going home at the age of 32. Hmmm.
I got answers from the doc on my tumors and it was fairly good news. The tumor in the front is benin, and will only have to be removed if it starts causing problems with my teeth. The large tumor in my bone is a bone disease, which may get worse or it may get better, they will just monitor it.
I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago and man oh man I am having a hard time with that. How can 2 people love each other so much, but not get along? That question is killing me.

Hang in there all my good people, it will get better for us all I hope.

Doctors Notes

2009-06-10T07:50:00.000-07:00

Well I got some good but bad news yesterday from my specialist.
There is a small tumor in the front of my jaw, but a very large one at the back of my jaw. The large one is inside the bone and is making the bone expand and it has expanded to about half the size my jaw should be on that side. So the large one could be one of two things, a tumor caused by an issue with my para-thyroid and if that’s the case they can fix the thyroid problem and remove both tumors. If not it is a bone disease which there is no cure for. It will cause the bone to keep growing and expanding, it may stop and may not, if not I will have to get the bone shaved every few years to keep my face from being deformed. Also, if it is the bone disease, they can’t biopsy anything to check for cancer or remove the small tumor because any prodding makes it grow faster. But the small tumor may grow on its own and push on nerves and if that happens they have no choice but to remove it, then cause the disease to grow faster. But the good news is…he doesn’t think it’s cancerous. I have to get some blood tests done to check my thyroid and to check for signs of the bone disease and then go back to him on the 7th. He will examine all of my old ex-rays from past dentists to see if he can tell how long it has been going on, and then he will let me know what my options are.
Geez. Life is so complicated sometimes.
On a lighter note...I have the hardest time listening to Doc's when they talk in medical terms, it sounds like the teacher ont he Peanuts cartoon. Wa wa wa waa wa wa..no cure for it. :)

Clarify

2009-05-30T07:47:00.000-07:00

I am ok girls. Guess I should have clarified. They found a rather large tumor growing on my jaw bone. I dont know much more about it yet as I dont see a specialist til June 9th to get it biopsied. Its just a scary thing.

Good and Bad

2009-05-28T07:54:00.000-07:00

Funny how cliche things can be sometimes. I got bad news last week that has made me stop and take a second look at life. The things that I regret and the things that I still want to do. The things that make me happy and the people that I have in my life. My friend Casey told me yesterday, "It's like the Tim McGraw song, live like you were dying". And he is right....what a cliche, but it is so true. Weird how you dont think about things like that until you have a reason to.

But not anymore for me. Life is short and I want to LIVE, really live. Do the things that I have always wanted to do, tell the people that I love how much they mean to me, and get past all of the bullshit without worrying about it everyday. I want a relationship that means something and to really feel love and passion from them. I have noticed that I really dwell on the negative in life, and I want to over come doing that. I dont want to be angry anymore. I want to be happy and positive and surround myself with things that will help me do that.

So to all of you.....Live like you were dying.

Poetry Thursday 10

2009-04-30T08:10:00.000-07:00

Who is this person???

Who is this person inside my head
That makes me think of the things you said
Who is this person that makes me say the
things I thought I couldn’t
And makes me do the things I said I wouldn’t
Who is this person that makes me change
how I feel
That makes me think my emotions aren’t real
Who is this person that won’t let me forget
All of the things that I regret
Who is this person that won’t let me forget you
And all of the wonderful things that you do
Who is this person that makes me choose good
From bad
And makes me feel happy when I am sad
If this person can save me from all the things I
Want to do
Then why couldn’t they save you too

Fun Job

2009-04-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

I went skydiving over the weekend, and it was so much fun. I love the feeling of falling and depending on something to save your life. :) But while we were there I was looking at the planes and the helicopters and it brought back what I really want to do with my life. I want to fly helicopters. I have wanted to do this since I was young and I am thinking that I better start learning and do something that I know I will love. But as with all things in life.....Money is holding me back. The cheapest school I can take here in Utah to get totally certified is $11,000. Are they insane!! Lets not forget the cost to buy a helicopter after I am done. Aagin, why does everything in life revolve around money. It is BS.

Swine Flu

2009-04-29T09:33:00.000-07:00

I love how when there is an outbreak of some virus thats all people talk about. I am sitting here at work minding my own business and have heard at least 3 people say "hopefully you dont get the swine flu". Really.......

Poetry Thursday 10

2009-04-23T07:30:00.000-07:00

You and Me…………….
You love her now I can see
But all I can think about is you and me
Does she make you feel like you want to feel
I wish I could show you that I love you still
All the tears I have cried
All the lies I have lied
Telling myself you loved me deep inside
All the nights laying there thinking of you
Hoping that you were thinking of me too
All those things are now in the past
Because you are with me at last
Now we are together like it should be
Together forever you and me

Poetry Thursday 9

2009-04-09T07:48:00.001-07:00

Today

Today is the day that you died
Today is the day that everyone cried
Today is the day that it rained real hard
Today is the day I would have given you a
birthday card
Today is the day the sky seemed black
Today is the day I started looking back
Today is the day your mom will sit and
weep
Today is the day that nobody will sleep
Today is the day I will never forget
Today is the day all bad things I will
regret
Today is the day I wish it were me and
not you
Today is the day I say I love you

Cancer

2009-04-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

It seems like the only word I have heard for months is Cancer. Why is that? I remember that I could go years without hearing that word and now it seems like it is part of my vocabulary. My friend passed away from breast cancer in August, my second dad passed away from it in February, my friends mom is battling it right now, other friends know people who are struggling with it and today my most favorite aunt is having a mastectomy and will start the battle. What is going on?

Move...yes....no

2009-04-09T07:38:00.000-07:00

I have been pondering a drastic move and I am having a hard time with a decision. I really hate Utah and need a change of pace and scenery. But I am having the hardest time facing the reality that I will be leaving my friends and family and everything I have known my whole life. I am wondering how others got the strength to pick up and leave and not look back. I am hoping that there will just be a day that I wake up and say "ok lets do it" and feel like it is what is supposed to happen. I swear decisions become harder the older you get. I should have moved right out of high school like I planned. Son of a......

Poetry Thursday 8

2009-04-02T08:21:00.000-07:00

Homeless and Hungry

You see them sitting in the naked cold
All alone with nothing to hold
People read their sign and just turn their head
Don’t even care about the last time they were fed
They can’t get a job because they don’t qualify
Nobody sheds a tear when they die
They lay on the ground with hearts full of pain
With only a newspaper between them and the rain
The shelters are full so they have nowhere to stay
On the streets is where they append their day
This is a problem that must be cured
It’s growing and growing and becoming absurd
Find it in your hearts to help make a change
And someone’s life you could rearrange

Poetry Thursday 7

2009-03-26T06:38:00.000-07:00

You Now………….

Why did go away without warning
You left me here in a state of mourning
Because you were here my whole life through
When you were gone I didnt know what to do
I think of you everyday, your memories fill my head
I still can’t believe my best friend is dead
What do I do with my life now, who do I turn to
Who’s advise do I take now that I don’t have you
Where will I end up, who will I turn out to be
I want to be like you, but how are you today
How do I know if I am living the right way
I seem to have no future I don’t know what to do
Hopefully soon I can again see you.

Twi...Hype

2009-03-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

Well I tried to read the Twilight books and just couldnt get into them. So I didnt even finish the first book. Someone told me to watch the movie first and then try to read the books and it would be different. Well I watched the movie yesterday and I dont think it changed my mind. I couldnt get into the movie and struggled watching the full movie. The awkward acting and shiny vampires just didnt do it for me. So I guess I will not be joining the millions on the Twilight band wagon. Sorry ladies...I know a few of you like it.

Shopping

2009-03-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

I just had to share a good shopping experience, because they never happen for me. I hate how I look in most everything until yesterday. I found a great tank top at American Eagle. It hides everything I want it to hide and makes me look super skinny. Yeah for this masterpiece.

http://www.ae.com/web/browse/product.jsp?catId=cat380157&productId=2361_9186

Poetry Thursday.....6

2009-03-19T07:19:00.000-07:00

Black

Black is the color of a child’s eyes
When you hear their hurting cries
Black is the color of the street where a man was shot
But the suspect was never caught
Black is the color of the cat
That now sits where the old man sat
Black is the color of the crow on the gate
That waits when your friend is late
On the way they were killed
Onto the pavement their warm blood spilled
Black is the color of their coffin cart
But you will always remember them in your heart.

Moving

2009-03-12T06:59:00.000-07:00

So I have been packing all week for the big move this weekend, and let me just say that moving is a joke!! I am so sick of packing and going through things, I will be happy when I am just settled in to the new place. As I have been going through things I realize that I have some sort of separation disease. I keep the weirdest things for years and years thinking that I need it or that I cant possibly get rid of it because someone gave it to me. This time I have set my mind to get rid of some things because I have to downsize. So I started a DI pile and added quite a bit to it. But before I actually took it to the DI I went through the stuff at least 3 times making sure I was making the right decision. I only took 2 things back out of it, so I guess that's good. But seriously why can't I get rid of things. Its like I am tied to them or something.
Also, for those of you who have never tried moving with a pet in the house, you should borrow one and give it a shot. My cat has been a wreck the past week or so. He is scared of everything now that things have moved. We were taking a nap on the couch the other day, and a noise scared the crap out of him. Well when he jumped up to see what it was, he ended up clawing my eye and now I have a nice black eye with a deep scratch under it. I was so mad....but it isn't like I can take it out on him. Also, packing with a cat is super fun. He is always grabbing the newspaper that I am trying to wrap with and ripping it apart, or laying on the paper that I need to use, getting in the box that I am trying to put stuff in and let's not forget getting things out of the box after it is in there. Super fun. It is funny to watch him tip his head to the side and get all confused about the new stuff popping up all over though. Last night I took my kitchen table apart and leaned the top up against the stair railing. Well that made a perfect place for him to hide. Now whenever I walk by he runs behind it and jumps out and scares me. Good times. :)
I really don't think I ever want to move again, so I will probably stay in this place until I die. Ha.

Poetry Thursday.....5

2009-03-12T06:57:00.000-07:00

“Never Had A Chance”

I didn’t get a chance to say all the things I wanted to say
I wasn’t prepared for that grey day
When I heard what happened I didn’t think it was true
I wanted to wake up from that horrible dream of you
When I visit you now all I see is the cold ground
And when I speak you don’t make a sound
I thought you would be here my whole life through
And when I had a problem I would turn to you
But you’re gone now to a better place
All of our memories I will never erase.

Poetry Thursday....4

2009-03-05T06:39:00.000-08:00

The Sacred Place

I saw you standing next to me with a glow on your face
I knew then you had been to the sacred place
It seems like yesterday you were mortal in form
Now you come back when my emotions are in a storm
I sat in amazement in a cold stare
Wondering how you could possibly be there
You looked so beautiful in your long gown of white
In all of my life I had never beheld such a beautiful sight
You left us in confusion of why he took you
But I guess you were the best one for the job he needed
someone special to do
You knew what was wrong and the help that I seek
You sat down beside me and began to speak
You spoke of my life like you were never away
You talked of your funeral in that grey drab day
I answered your questions and we talked for a spell
You helped me a lot and made me feel well
Then the time came for you to go back to your new home
I begged you please not to leave me alone
You said don’t worry I will always be here
Whenever you need me just pray my dear
I knew after that I had to make a new start
And now when I need you I look in my heart

Poetry Thursday.....3

2009-02-26T06:46:00.000-08:00

My First Friend

You were always there through thick and thin
And when we played games you would let me win
We cheered each other up when we were sad
We were always brats and made your mom mad
We fought over things that mattered to us then
Like who would be Barbie and who would be Ken
I remember laughing and talking when we were supposed to take a nap
“Go to sleep” your mom would snap
We would always get stung by bees
Give cats swirlies
And play hide and seek behind park trees
I shared all these things with someone special to me
I wonder who this person could be
Well of course I shared them with my first friend that is true
And that first friend is you……..
I love you Jen.

Mullet Wednesday

2009-02-25T14:20:00.000-08:00

I am just wondering if I missed and important memo stating that mullets are making a comeback. I have seen 4 serious mullets today in Draper and that is very odd. I expect this sort of thing in Magna when I go to the store, but not here. In fact in the year and a half that I have been working here, I don’t think I have seen one mullet until today. I really hope they aren’t making a comeback because it is bad enough that some of the 80’s clothes are coming back. Weird times.

Doing Ok

2009-02-23T14:22:00.000-08:00

Sorry didn't mean to get everyone worried with the earlier post. I am doing ok....just posting my thoughts in the earlier post.
Life comes at you fast, for everything else there's Geico :)

Moving On

2009-02-23T09:32:00.000-08:00

Some people say that moving on is easy….. Well I have news for them there is nothing easy about it. I have had a lot of life changing events happen in the past year that are not so easy to move past. One of which is a relationship that I was not ready to see end. Why is it that love is simply not enough anymore? I know that we all have our issues and it is hard to live with people, but what keeps us from accepting or wanting help from the person that you love or that loves you. I am telling you moving on after a broken heart is terrible. And I feel for anyone that has ever been through it. But I am working on it. With help from friends and family and strength that I have found in myself. Another part of moving on, is moving out. I am going to be moving into my first place by myself and I am excited and nervous at the same time. Yes I lived at home with my awesome dad until I was 25. I moved from there with one of my many exes (there is a pattern here) and we lived together for 4 years. I then lived with roommates for a bit and then with my recent ex. Being on my own is going to be a new experience and I am just hoping that everything will be ok. That coupled with other stressful times and a broken heart is going to make for an interesting experience. Hopefully a good one. I can only hope that things will get better in time, hard times pass and my emotions wont get the best of me.

The way things are going….I may just be the 40 year old bachelorette that everyone has said that I would be.

Poetry Thursday Cont....

2009-02-19T07:23:00.001-08:00

Sorry I missed last week everyone, heres the new one for this week.

Regret

Regret is not saying what you wanted to say
Before your loved ones judgment day
Regret is the hurt you carry with you
When you don’t do what you wanted to
Regret is the pain that rips you apart
When you couldn’t say what was in your heart
How do you rid yourself of this grief
When the one you never told the ground holds underneath
How do you tell them you love them and how much you care
When you know they will never again be there
How long can you hold this feeling inside
When your friend has already died?

Road Rage

2009-02-10T07:23:00.001-08:00

My road rage is getting terrible. I feel like I am going to ram someone with my car one of these days. And what is it with all of these idiots that just feel they can do whatever they like while driving. For some reason it seems like at least once a week I get stuck behind this teal green Suzuki Sidekick on my way home from work. He drives like 30 on the freeway and almost causes an accident every time. There was finally a break in traffic last week and I as able to pass him. Well I finally noticed why he drives so slow. He is about 500 hundred pounds and his belly rolls around the steering wheel, he was stuffing his face with a huge burger and holding his drink with the other hand. COME ON!!! A full meal on the freeway. I rolled down my window and yelled some obscenities to him. The other day me and my friend Val were going to lunch. I was in a turn or go straight lane waiting for the light, this guy is sitting behind me in line. Well I guess he didn't need to turn and thought I was in the wrong, so he sped past me in the other lane honked and flipped me off. If I wasn't in my dads truck I would have followed him and slammed into the back of him at the next light. Today I was driving to work in the snow storm, and this yahoo from California speeds up to right on my bumper and starts brighting me. I am thinking to myself "Don't slam on your brakes and why the hell does he need me to move when he can get over in the other lane". Well I guess I missed the class on the left lane in the freeway merge is a fast lane, even if it is snowing. He finally gets over speeds past me and the slams on his brakes in front of me because the cars up ahead are driving slow due to the snow storm. All I kept thinking was I hope he gets in a wreck. That would have made my day. Instead I have a sore neck because he pissed me off. I need help I think. Guess the anger management class didn't help after all. :)

Self Esteem

2009-02-10T07:20:00.001-08:00

So I am having an issue with self esteem. It seems like when this is going on, everything that anyone says seems to hurt my feelings. Why is this? Why cant I just ignore it and walk away, or take it as a joke if it is one? So frustrating. And why is it that women have these overwhelming insecurities all the time. I would like to be like a man where whatever happens, happens and they dont worry about things like we do. It isnt fair.

Poetry Thursday's

2009-02-05T07:05:00.001-08:00

Well I haven’t had much to say lately, but I have been getting back into writing poems. It used to be my passion and I wrote at least one a week for a while. I have pulled my book out and have started again. So I figured I would share them with you for a bit on Poetry Thursdays.

If I told you…..
If I told you how I really feel would you turn and run
What if I said you’re on my mind with every rising sun
With every breath your name goes deeper into my soul
I want to tell you that my heart your hands have stole
With every thought that comes to mind there is always one of you
And a constant reminder of all the things you do
You always know how to make me laugh and brighten up my day
With just a sound of your voice my worries go away
I want to tell how I feel but I am afraid of what you’ll do
Maybe someday I will have the courage to say that I have fallen in love with you

I wish.....

2009-02-02T08:03:00.000-08:00

I wish that we could bottle time. I would bottle up all the good times and live them over and over, when the bad times come. I wish that everyone could be healthy and happy and get all the things that they wanted in life. I wish that people could experience loss on their own terms, and not on someone else’s. I wish that happiness lasted forever and not just for a short period of time. I wish that everyone could be independently wealthy, and everyone could enjoy life and not have to work to get by. I wish that there were more time in the day to enjoy the things that you love in life, and not just the things that have to be done. I wish I could push mute on some sort of remote, so I wouldn’t have to listen to some people talk. I wish that there was a cure for cancer, so that so many people didn’t have to suffer. I wish that the sun would shine all the time and the temp would never dip below 60. I wish that we could keep all the friends that we have had through time and there was no such thing as fighting. I wish……. Please add on with your comments.

Pondering

2009-01-14T14:26:00.000-08:00

How did I get here? Wondering about the future. I have tried so hard to live the right way, but it got me nowhere.
Why can you feel so safe with a friend until the times get tough. Once the tough times affect them they are gone.
I wish there was a way to see the future and you could make decisions based on outcomes, not the other way around.
Why do innocent people get punished, while the guilty go free? I guess its because the innocent people are harder to scare.
If love makes the world go around, then where is love when we need it?
If money isn’t everything, then why do we hear about it so much? Maybe because that statement is BS.
Why don’t happy endings happen in real life? And how did someone come up with the happy ending if it doesn’t exist? I prefer movies that have a real ending. Everyone dies and he doesn’t get the girl that he wanted. That’s real, that’s life and it makes me feel like I’m not missing out on something :)
I want to live life backwards, why don’t we have that choice?
When did it become ok to not care about people’s feelings? Looking good and caring about careers is now more important.
Everyone says that the criminal justice system is broken and everyone can see that, then why hasn’t anyone fixed it?
I liked growing up in a time when you could be curvy and it wasn’t considered being fat. When did anorexia become Hot?
The economy is broken……..lower the cost of food, gas, clothing and vehicles and poof, its fixed. I asked a rocket scientist and got that answer.
Where is the cure for cancer? I know someone has one, why can’t we have it?

Hang In There

2008-12-30T06:50:00.001-08:00

It seems like it has been a rough few months for a lot of people that I know, including myself. I just want to tell everyone to hang in there. It has to get better right? If not then whats the point..... So it will get better and I am here for all of you.

Used Crap

2008-12-02T07:48:00.001-08:00

Everyone always makes fun of me for getting a new car every year or 2. Well that has come to an end finally and I have decided to settle on paying cash for a used car. Screw used cars!! That is all I have to say. Maybe I am just used to having a warranty and getting things taken care of that way, or even having a car without problems. Well let me tell you I have had a great time with this car that I bought. I purchased a 2000 Honda because everyone says “Honda’s run forever, you won’t have any problems with a Honda, Honda is the way to go”. Hmmmmm maybe they are talking about a different brand of Honda, or a brand new Honda. I have had noting but problems. It started about a week after I bought the car…check engine light is on…..get the code checked at Auto Zone and it is something to do with the temperature…..spend $75 to get the radiator flushed because its dirty…..light comes back on…….spend $125 to find out it is the thermostat…….spend $65 to get a new thermostat……….weird noise in the transmission…….something internal will have to take apart to fix may cost $500-$2500 depending on what’s wrong......then last night……take car to my dad because it is having a hard time starting, he asks me to start it so he can check it out and it wont start……..battery is dead in the driveway, cant take it out of gear if it doesn’t start. So I had to ask my dads neighbor to take me to Auto Zone to get a new battery…..new battery $69…..I hate used cars!!!!

Friends

2008-12-02T07:37:00.001-08:00

I have always been one of those people who put a lot of stock in friends. Sometimes they let you down, but if they are good friends then it will pass. I have always been one of those people who sees the good in people until they show me their bad side and it effects me negatively. Some people may say that my friends are more important to me than anything else. Well when you’re my friend I consider you my family and if you have been my friend for a long time then you will always be considered part of my life no matter how long it has been since we have talked.

I realized this even more over this weekend. My friend Anna is here visiting from Texas. I have known Anna since first grade and we went through school being friends and became great friends as we got in high school. She moved away about 7 years ago and it was so hard. I saved up my vacation time so that I could go see her in Nashville as much as I wanted, and this went on for a few years. Then Anna met the love of her life and got married and had kids, and our carefree hanging out changed. But it changed for the good in her life. She is happy and loved and has 2 beautiful children. I hadn’t seen her for 5 years until this weekend, and it seems like we never stopped being close. We talked like we never stopped talking and we hung out like we never missed a year. She made me think of all the friends that have come and gone in my life and we talked about the old days and about the fun times we used to have and the people that we always hung out with. It made me miss the good old days. It also made me thankful for the people that I have shared experiences with. I was happy to hear that people that still mean a lot to me are doing well in their lives, even if I haven’t seen some of them for years.

I just want to say thank you to all of my friends for the experiences that you have brought into my life.

Winter

2008-11-05T06:45:00.000-08:00

The first valley snow storm of the year always makes me remember how much I hate winter and Utah. First of all its Utah, we get snow and rain and all of those good things...so if you dont know how to drive in it you should stay home. I swear everyone forgets how to drive over the summer. Its those people who make it stressful for the rest of to drive. Also, I love always seeing my tax dollars hard at work (NOT). You know how many plows I saw on my 25 mile journey to work......None. It always amazes me that these "surprise storms" that they talk about on the news the night before, seem to sneak up on the public works department. And let's not forget about the rude Utah people. Whatever you do dont get over so that people can actually merge onto the freeway. I mean I know its snowing and all and the lane change is like 100 times more dangerous when its snowing, but the commute would go alot better if the non-lane changers would risk their lives for a few seconds!!

Easier

2008-10-24T07:31:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was younger and I hated school and it felt like everyone was out to get you with all of their rules and the babysitting. I remember hearing more than once from adults that life gets easier as you get older. HORSE PUCKY!! Life sucks when you get older! I want to go back to the days when all I had to worry about was passing school, hanging out with my friends, keeping my room clean and working a fun part time job. Now there are bills, full time jobs, managing a home and deadlines. Sure there are the occasional fun times, but it seems like when your younger everything is fun. Life is full of bad news lately and it seems like everyone I know is coping with a divorce, a death, a sick family member or friend, kids that wont mind, relationships that are rocky and they have lost their friends because that's what happens when you get older. So if you have kids please don't tell them it gets easier, it doesn't.

Parking

2008-10-24T07:27:00.000-07:00

What the hell is up with people parking these days? It seems like everywhere I go there is some jack ass parking however they feel like parking and making it inconvenient for everyone. Last night I went to leave work and this huge Dodge truck was parked next to me. He was so close on the drivers side that I couldn't even walk between my car and his truck. I had to go in through the passenger side and climb over to the drivers seat. It was so annoying. If I didn't know how to control my anger, I would have squeezed in there and slammed my driver door into his nice new truck. What a jerk!!

Snow

2008-10-13T07:27:00.000-07:00

I freakin hate snow! What happened to Fall, my favorite time of year? I woke up to snow today. Grrrr

Cancer

2008-10-08T06:39:00.000-07:00

This is a subject that really gets to me lately. It seems like everyone I know has someone in their family who is battling cancer or has recently passed away from it. When I was little I used to get babysat by a couple that lived across the street from us. My dad worked two jobs most of the time so I spent most of my time with this family and my grandparents. Their daughter Jen, was my first friend and we remained great friends until she passed away in a car accident in 1993. I was very close to her family and they accepted me as their own. I learned the other day that her dad has stage 4 throat cancer. This was very upsetting to me, as I have drifted from the family over the years and have not made a visit to them in years. Still he is like a second dad to me and it is horrible. I spoke with his wife Noreen last week and learned all of the details. It seems that the cancer was caused by acid reflux. Acid reflux??? Half of America has this right?? Well it appears if you let the acid reflux go for a long period of time, it eats away at your esophogus and bacteria gets in there and causes cancer. The other upsetting thing is, he has not felt good for a few years and when he started feeling horrible he began to go to the ER. He went twice here in Salt Lake and they sent him home with the diagnoses of the flu or a sinus infection. The last time he went in August, Noreen rushed him to the Vernal Hospital. They were going to release him on a bogus just a cold disgnoses, but she refused to take him home until they found out what was wrong. They did a full body scan and found a mass on his esophogus. More tests were run and they found that it was indeed cancer and it had already spread to his lungs and liver. He is currently battling it and I hope he can beat it.

Two weeks ago I went to a funeral for my sister in laws mom. Her mom has been battling cancer for the past year or so. It was a sad time and I feel for her and her dad. The cause of her cancer, hormone pills that she was perscribed many years ago. Ladies are any of you taking these??

My first taste of cancer loss came in July-August, when I found that my good friend Juel was in the hospital battling breast cancer. Her cancer had spread to her spine and brain, by the time they knew that she was sick again. (she had beat the cancer 18 months before this) I dont know all of the specifics of what was going on with her, because I tried to keep the conversation positive while I was there. But apparently she had some strokes and it caused paralasis in her hands and legs, so she was confined to a bed. She would always talk about how we were going to have a big party when she got better and how she needed my help getting back to tip top shape so that she could go back to work. Her passion was cutting hair and she wanted to be able to that again within a year. She started doing better and her cancer count got lower and lower with each chemo treatment, but she still wasnt getting any movement back in her arms and legs, no matter how much physical therapy she did. I could see this wearing on her, but she did not give up. If it were me, I would have given up so she was alot stronger than I am. One Saturday in August I was getting ready to go see her and introduce her to Dan, when I got a call that she passed away. It was devastating. She had gotten sick 2 days prior and they rushed her to the hospital and began treating her for pneumonia. The autopsy confirmed that she passed away from a urinary tract infection that had spread to her vital organs. It wasnt even the cancer that killed her. I cant get that out of my mind.

Where is the cure fo cancer? I know its out there. So why dont they use it?

Hmmmm

2008-10-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong that I want to do this everyday??

Frustration

2008-10-02T07:30:00.001-07:00

Why are relationships so hard? Why can’t it get easier the longer your together? It seems like everyone I know is struggling with the same issue. They just cannot get along with the person that they are with. I am included in this. It seems like the older you get and the longer you have been together, the more things bug you about the other person. Why is that? You have a common bond of loving each other, so why can’t that be enough? Sometimes I wish the world would stop at the happiest moment in your relationship, and then everything from there on would be like that feeling. I am one of those people who cannot handle arguing or fighting and I try to avoid if at all possible. So why do relationships start to make you feel like this is all that it consists of- constant bickering, anger towards the other person, frustration, feeling like your all alone in the relationship. I want it to be easy. I want to feel like we are dating and feel like it is something new all of the time. Is there a way to get back to that?

Spoiled Rotten

2008-10-01T07:23:00.000-07:00

So as many of you may know I have never wanted children and do not plan on having any. Well this is what I thought until I got a cat. God has blessed me with a cat that has a child living in its body. He was so good for the first few years that I had him, and now he is a terror. He has the personality of a toddler. He does things that he knows he is not supposed to do, just to get attention. He is constantly meowing wanting attention. He is jealous of time I spend with Dan and makes it known by how frequently he interrupts our conversations. He fights Dan for a spot next to me. He squeezes his way in between us when we are sleeping or laying on the couch. And he leaves his toys all over the house. So I have been blessed with a child that was just a little cheaper than raising a real child.
I always heard the phrase "your spoiled rotten" when I was little and never knew what it meant. Well now I do. I have spolied my cat rotten.

Rude People

2008-09-26T06:29:00.000-07:00

What is about some people that make them think they are more important than you or better than you? I swear Utah has some of the rudest people I have ever been around. Especially in Draper. Everyday I am working I have the joy of being around rude people, and yes most of them are women. Here in Draper most of the women are trophy wives who stay home and take care of the kids and have lunch with their snooty friends. I think they all got a deal on Escalades and Tahoes too. Well I almost get run off the road daily by these monstrous SUV's because wherever these women need to be, it is pretty important that they speed there. Heaven forbid your 5 minutes late to your hair and nail appt or lunch with the other stepford wives. I also have the joy of being in public areas with them and their kids and it is super fun. The kids run around without supervision while the mom's are gossiping about this and that and talking about people right in front of their faces. I had the joy of hearing these 2 blonde bimbos refer to me as "biggie". Ok now I know I am not skinny by why the hell would you say something like that so that the person could here you. Well, had it have been another time of day and I was not in my Draper City shirt or on the clock, they would have got an earful from me. But instead I just had to gave them a dirty look and walked out. Those fake b&^$#es were ugly and I can guess that they were dumb as rocks, if it wasnt for their husbands money they would be trash. I mean really is it necessary to be that rude.
Well yesterday I had the joy of the Wal-Mart here on the east side and I wanted to smack someone by the time I left. First I pull into the parking lot and this blonde bimbo just walks out in front of me without even looking, like the world should stop for her. Then as I am pulling into this parking stall I almost got backed into by this little teeny bopper in her Mercedes, who was putting on her lip gloss as she was backing out so she didnt look. Then as I am walking in, a big boobed bimbo and her children proceed to run into me and she doesnt even say sorry. So I finally grab the wrapping paper that I stopped for and this stupid blonde tramp with her kids in her basket block the aisle. She looked right at me and kept on looking for her makeup and talking on her "like" cell phone. So I gladly move the basket of rug rats down the aisle and walk by. I hear her tell the person on the other end of the phone "this stupid b*&ch just moved my cart".
I think I need to move to a small town somewhere outside of Utah before I end up b*&ch slapping someone.

25 Things

2008-09-19T07:06:00.003-07:00

My friend Anna (who i miss dearly), has asked that I post 25 things about me. Here ya go Anna-
1. I have a cute cat named Bennie
2. I donate regularly to the ASPCA, and I think everyone should
3. I love animals of all kinds
4. My love's name is Dan
5. I am house shopping right now
6. Favorite colors are black and red
7. Favorite food is Artichokes
8. Favorite drink is Ryan's Creme on ice
9. I love to gamble
10. I have 4 tattoos (and yes it only counts as one if it is big)
11. I am getting a new tattoo on the 24th
12. I work for Draper City as a code officer
13. My favorite jeans are Big Star
14. Favorite places to shop- The Buckle and American Eagle
15. I drive a red Honda Accord
16. I love to travel (most of the time)
17. Favorite shows- All Law and Orders, All CSI's, Desperate Housewives, Greys Anatomy, The Shield, Project Runway
18. Dream vacation spot would be Fiji
19. My hair is currently deep red and dark brown
20. I have always wanted to be a model
21. I wish I lived on a beach
22. I love spending time with friends and family
23. I love all of the CO Bigelow lip glosses from Bath and Body
24. I am currently trying to lose weight
25. I love orange sherbert

Wow thats harder than you think.

Retirement

2008-09-19T07:06:00.002-07:00

Is it time for retirement yet???

Law and Order

2008-09-19T07:06:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I am a star on Law and Order and I am being investigated by members of an elite detective squad know as the Special Investigation Unit, here is my story---- For some reason I always seem to date guys who think they have to investigate me. Why is your phone sitting right there, who is that calling, who are you texting, why are those underwear in the laundry basket, why are you wearing that, why were you 5 minutes late, why did you turn the light on during the night, why, why , why???????? I feel like I have committed a crime. And who notices that crap anyway?

Traveling or Hemroids

2008-09-18T06:51:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or is traveling becoming an inconvenience? Last weekend we flew to Indianapolis for a concert, and it was a royal pain in the ass. First of all I do not recommend flying on American Airlines at any point in your life. They are a joke. Our trip started Friday afternoon sitting in the Salt Lake airport for about 4 hours while we waited for our plane to arrive, then we waited a little longer to leave. Apparently for some strange reason the pilots have not learned how to take off or land in the rain, so we were delayed because of rain at the Chicago O'Hare airport. We got to Chicago and waited again to leave due to a light rain falling on the runway. (this puzzles me since it snows like no other in Chicago) Well we finally get to Indianapolis and have a great time. Well Sunday rolls around and its time to head to the airport. We check in and the flight is leaving on time. So we get to the terminal and sit and wait for a few hours. Well the time for the flight departure passes and there isnt a plane yet. So I go to the podium and ask the snooty biotch working what time we are leaving, and she proceeds to tell me "I am trying to get all these questions answered and it will be on the screen in a minute," then tells me "the plane has been circling the airport for 30 minutes trying to land so it will be here soon." So I go back to my oh so comfy seat by the window and watch all the other airlines coming and going in the rain and wind. About 20 minutes into this I hear "flight 1532 to Chicago has been cancelled please pick up your baggage and return to the ticket counter". What the...... So we are told that the plane that was supposed to land returned to Chicago because they couldnt land. Odd since all the other airlines were doing it. Well we get our bags after about an hour and then we get a recorded call from the airline "We have re booked your flight for tomorrow night at 7:55pm please return to the airport for check in by 5:00pm". Oh hell no!! So we go wait in line for hours, I am pissed at this point so I start asking other airlines if they can get us home. Well Jessie at Frontier Airlines was so super nice and looked at every possible avenue for us. He found us a flight leaving from Chicago Midway the next morning, but we would have to drive the 2 and a half hours to Chicago and the tickets would be $1200.00 for the 2 of us. So we call AA from the massive line we are standing in at the ticket counter and tell them we found a new flight to get us home at a decent time and would they transfer our ticket money to Frontier so we could fly with them. "Umm no we cant since it was due to weather." So we end up purchasing the new tickets, so that we wouldnt run the risk of being stuck there for another day. We rent a car and start our 2 hour drive to Chicago. If you have not made this drive I recommend it. It is beautiful. Well about 30 miles outside Chicago the freeway merges off due to flooding and we are in some po-dunk town and there aren't any detour signs. So we just follow the traffic and stop and ask for directions in the ghettos about 3 times. We finally get on an open freeway and found our way to the hotel, but not before we almost run a few gang bangers over and fear for our lives in the ghetto's that we were forced to drive through. So by the time we reach our hotel it is 11:30pm and the drive took 6 and a half hours. The nice lady at the front desk could see how frazzled we were and upgraded us to a jetted tub room, and that was so nice of her. The hotel was great for the 4 hours we were there. We had to be at the airport by 4:00am to fly out. I dont know about all of you but I am no good at all nighters and I was a real peach. Well we made it home on time without sleep. This is the first vacation I have been on where I was happy to see the Salt Lake Valley come into view.
As for American Airlines......they suck. I got the same reaction from everyone when I told them which airline we were flying on- the eye roll and the 'they suck' head nod. They charged us $15 per bag to check, and did not give you the first one for free. This was not refunded to us either. When we got home, I checked the flight that we were re-booked on for the following night, and it was again delayed 4 hours. Wow!! I will be writing a nice letter to them and will demand a full refund for our flights.

Huh.

2008-09-11T07:33:00.000-07:00

Why do men read so much into things? They say that we do it but really they should take a look at themselves for a minute. I hear all of the fights and what not that goes on in every relationship, and most of the time it is the man who is reading too much into the fight. For example we say- “I don’t want to talk right now” and they hear “I don’t want to be with you anymore”. We say “I don’t feel like putting out tonight” and they hear “Your not attracted to me anymore”. We say “I just need to spend time with the girls” and they hear “Your going out to meet someone else”. We say “I love you” and they hear “Great your putting out tonight”. I am so glad that I don’t have that translator in my ear. And do they sell a reverse translator? If they do we better be stocking up on those things in case the battery dies or it stops working.

On Strike

2008-09-10T07:29:00.000-07:00

What would happen if all women went on strike? Not from work but from home....... Dan came out of the bedroom the other day with jeans on. I found this odd since he has not worn them all summer. I asked "why are you wearing jeans" and his reply was "are you on strike?". Now lets just think about this for a minute....on strike. I didnt know that I needed to be on strike from anything so I asked, "on strike from what?" he replied "from laundry, I dont have any clean shorts." So this got me thinking....you lived alone before we started dating and I am pretty sure that I saw you doing laundry while I was there once or twice, so are my washer and dryer really that high tech? So I went and got the clothes out of the laundry basket and as I was putting them in the washer I found myself checking out the dials on the washer. They looked pretty standard to me, but what the hell do I know. I asked him why he couldnt just do his own laundry if he needed something and he replied "its your job". Well I dont remember interviewing for this job but I have a good idea of what this "job" entails. So if I were to go on strike the following would happen- laundry would pile up for years, nobody would brush their teeth because I didnt go and buy toothpaste, the house would be a wreck, beds would be smelly and gross, a ring of man splash would remain on all the toilet seats, there would be no food in the house, dishes would never get done and the yard would probably grow 5 feet tall because I would also be on strike from nagging. So if someone ever asks if your on strike.....ask them if they still have teeth.

Houses

2008-09-10T07:04:00.000-07:00

If some of you didnt know me and Dan have been looking for a new house. We have been looking for houses for my whole life it seems like. I am now getting to the point where I see a nice house and actually say out loud "f$%#ers". I think I have a serious problem but it hasnt been diagnosed yet. I mean why cant the average person have a nice house without having to make $300, 000 a year? Why cant I have that nice house that I have always wanted? It seems like everything we want is $50, 000 out of our price range. Well you know what I would like to do with those houses that are $50,000 out of my price range......just move into one without permission. I want to get all of my stuff in the house make it nice and homey and just live there for free until someone notices, and then and only then will I make payments on it. But not the payments that they want, the payments I want. I would like to say "well I have been living here for 6 months before you even noticed so apparently you dont actually need all of that money for the house". Lets face it, the stingy banks have no idea whats going on at the properties and dont really care. The homes have been sitting there for months and months costing the banks money, but heaven forbid that you should get a good deal on one. This is a big issue with me right now and it is causing me undo stress. Maybe I can sue the housing industry for cronic anxiety syndrome. Thats a disease right?

What are Men??

2008-09-10T06:42:00.000-07:00

I find myself wondering from time to time, how would a man live without his guy parts??? I mean really if you think about it, the thought of sex consumes most of their lives. I think about 2% of a mans brain is for other information that doesnt pertain to sex. I find myself having to repeat things that I have said several times in the past, like please pick up after yourself, and sweetie maybe you could turn the light off when your done. But as soon as I mention sex, its like a light bulb comes on and you can actually see the mans brain working. You see bumps moving across the skull while all of the motors get up and running. And it isnt like they remember what you like and what you dont like in bed, they are just happy that they are running on all cylinders. So that brings me to believe that the mans body is just for getting around. Its like Elaine said on Seinfeld "a mans body is like a jeep, it is just for getting around". So the guy parts are just driving this massive Jeep around and they control where it goes and what it thinks. And what they dont understand is that women only want a Jeep fom time to time. We want a luxury car that cradles you, gives you a smooth ride, hugs all the curves and goes where you want it to go. So ladies if you want a luxury car you better save up enough to afford one.

Just "Be"

2008-09-10T06:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes girls just need to "Be"

Be Quiet

Be Alone

Be Ourselves

Be Happy

Be Sad

Just "Be".

Well I find this very hard to do when living with someone. Our partners are always there wanting attention and wanting you to "Be" something that you dont feel like being at the time. Like if we want to be quiet then we get the question of "Whats Wrong" or the comment "Your so ornery today". I mean what is that. Why does there always have to be talking and why do we always need to be in a good mood. I mean come on ladies, how many times have you wanted the man in your life to just "Be" quiet? You would think that us being quiet would be a good thing. I mean with all the nagging and stuff. I keep hoping someday that guys will understand the art of just "be"ing and we can live in harmony. When and if this will happen, who the heck knows. But remember next time your hear "What the f*&^ is wrong with you, just think to yourself "sometimes a girl just needs to "Be".